I've been having really bad anxiety for the past month or two. And it's awful.
Just a minute ago I felt it out of nowhere again. Sometimes there's a reason, but lately, there's not one. Just a chest crushing feeling of anxiety and dread washing over me, and I have no control over it. I wanted to curl up in a ball and sob. There's absolutely no reason for it. And it's frightening really.
I've had these feelings as long as I can remember, it's not just being shy.
It wouldn't be so crushing and alarming if it was just being shy.
I can tell you honestly, If I didn't know anyone at school, I would have stopped going.
When I couldn't find anyone and no one was in my class it was just... So much work to go. I was scared. Scared every day or my life. I can't even explain it. What I'm saying is really light compared to what I actually feel.
I got the courage to bring it up to mom the other day though. So I asked to go to the doctor.
We should be making an appointment soon and maybe, hopefully, I will be able to get something to rid this from me, and maybe then I can live every day peacefully. Normally. As normal as I can live at least.
It would be nice.
Mom said we'll also talk about birth control to help my cramps, cause they keep getting worse and worse, and it would clear my face up too.
So, now I just have to stop having anxiety about going to the doctor xD;
Wish me luck.
Hey, this is Carrie, but you know me as Toxicbloodspill from DA, sorry to hear you have been having some problems. I can relate to the anxiety and whatnot. I was having some bad anxiety attacks for unknown reasons too. It's such an awful feeling.
ReplyDeleteFor the past few months I've been seeing a therapist one a week to once every two weeks. That has helped me a lot. It got me to understand myself and how to handle situations. But that wasn't enough, so I talked to my therapist about some anti-anxiety meds. So I recently started taking Xanx when needed. Its a med one doesn't have to take everyday like an antidepressant and it doesn't knock you out. It has really helped me clam down, it doesn't fog my mind (it did a little at first, but I can drive when on it) and it helps me focus so I'm not freaking out and having panic attacks.
I also understand how you feel about the "shy" thing. I get this panic/ anxiety when I interact with people I don't know, or when in a large group. It makes me uncomfortable and makes me withdraw from them. Between seeing a therapist and taking Xanx, I've been able to handle social situations a lot better.
I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone and that you should always keep searching for the solution to make yourself comfortable and happy. :) Have hope, give it time, and keep your head up girl.
PS. I have been creepin on all your art, on all the sites you post it (I'm just been too busy with school to comment, sorry lol) but you have gotten so amazing at drawing on the computer (I'm so jealous :P) I love your art, especially your NSFW art :3 teehee who doesn't love naughty art! LOL Keep up the awesome work! and I pray you find peace with your anxiety!
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Ahhh, I've missed you, girly! I hope you've been well, I can understand that you've been busy! Life has a way of wrapping it's arms around us and keeping us occupied~
DeleteThis whole message is just jdsgskldgk! So sweet! ;o; You Sweet thing ahhhhh/// dsgjklsd Thank you so much, It's really nice to know it's actually a common thing! I think going to the doctor will be easy now knowing it's not just me!
Thank you thank yo thank yoooooou. I'll promise too keep my head up as best as I can, it's the only thing I can do now! Thank you for the lovely comment, I really really appreciate it!
Ahhhasdjfhdkjfhasdg///! Bwuuuuh thanks! ;w; <3 I try hard! It's all because I have WONDERFUL artist friends too look up to, plus lots and lots of practice and going to college for art helps! ;w; I can place what I learn from that to the digital world~! And heee nsfw is nice, yes yes 8Dc <33 Heee, I will! Thank you so much!! I hope we can talk more again soon! <3
:D awwww you are so very welcome!!! And yes, life is very busy, especially as a college art major, which you can definitely understand, but summer break is almost here so YAY!
DeleteAwe, I am so glad I could help! ^w^ I hope your appointment goes well, and you get the help you need. because it's hard to be creative and have so much anxiety, it keeps you from what you love most.
All you need to do is find the right anxiety treatment method that works best for you! 'cuz at first I talked to a therapist and she taught me coping techniques and breathing things to calm down. (I know some people do yoga or mediation- I can't sit still long enough for that lol) But that wasn't working entirely so I discussed other options and found that combining the stress/ anxiety methods with some anti-anxiety meds (only when needed during a panic attack) I was able to learn overall how to help my anxiety. Now I don't have to take the meds as much because I'm able to figure out certain things better. But anxiety is different for everyone and different treatments work, so i hope you find something good that works for you! :D Also relaxing/sleepy time herbal teas and a nice hot bubble bath can help too :3
You are so welcome :D <3 I wish you luck with life and art! and also hope to talk to you more soon! With school finishing up soon, hopefully I'll be on DA more, but when I have time I'm planning on making a Nabyn account too! <3
Hahah, yeah! I really do oh god dsjflkdsaf Why do they make everything so hard on us art majors? ;w; And yesss ahhh! I can't wait! <3
DeleteHee thank you! ;w; I do too! I'm still waiting for my mom to get the appointment, so I hope it's soon! And yeah uugh dsgkjsdg It's just awful D: ANd PFFFT I don't think I could do yoga either, gotta get up and moooove! <3 Ahhh, I'm glad you find something that works! I've very very glad! ;w; <33 And ah, I keep meaning to get sleepy time herbal teas! I have problems sleeping a LOT. so! And bubble baths ahhhh I miss those! I need to have one uwu <3
I wish you luck with life and art as well, sweetheart! ;w; <33 Yes yes, talk more, eeee~ <33
Oh! It's invite only, but I have an invite I can give you when you're ready! o: <33
Hope everything is going well! but, let me know how everything goes when you do get an appointment ^.^ I wish you tons of luck!!!!!!!!
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ooh okay! :D Really? thankies! that would be awesome if you gave me an invite! :3
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ReplyDeletelol sorry i posed comment in wrong place first ^^; ahh i'm so bad at trying to figure out how to/where to reply on these websites lol its really confusing >.<
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